The rage and sadness waking each morning were mysterious for a long time, but as these emotions became more conscious to me and a part of my morning, I have attributed them to a lack of an audience for my writing (as is the fate of American poets). In time, I would enter the shower each morning and say to myself, “Okay, you are alone, angry, and sad; what are you going to do about it today; what steps will you take today to move away from or use these emotions; what projects will you work on.” That is when a plan for the day is devised. By the time I am out of the shower, I have adopted a plan for the day and a different attitude, at least temporarily, that allows me to find the absurd in my life and any expectations I may have for it, so that I laugh about my life and expectations for the rest of the day.
By nightfall and bedtime, I attempt to hold on to some small success (a new poem, an encouraging rejection letter, an idea for a poem) so that I might fall to sleep easily. When I do fall asleep, I wake after about four hours and in the twilight of the half sleep and half awake, I work out problems in poems or compose the first lines of a new poem. The hour or two of semi consciousness allows the play of my conscious and unconscious mind to assist me in my writing. At first I would keep a pencil and notebook by the bed, but after learning what was important in my life, I would remember without prompting what I was working out and how I did so. I can’t say enough about this seemingly negative waking and its usefulness as a tool for creation and problem solving. A similar experience can be had if one takes naps in the middle of the day. The twilight between consciousness and unconsciousness promotes creativity. qui per effettuare modifiche.
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